21 November 2008
I love my grandparents so much. I can't believe how blessed I am to have such a good family. I came out to my grandpa last summer and it was a good experience for both of us--I had previously come out to my grandma when I first came out to my parents. He told me how much he loved me and that I was still one of his favorite grandchildren if not his favorite. He also said that he wished I did not have to live such a hard life--he worries for me constantly (about my health, my grades, my ambitions, and now my sexuality and place in the world).

Before I get into what I wanted to say about what happened tonight, I want to give a little background about my grandpa. He is not a member of the Church. He never has been and he probably will never be--he's really stubborn and doesn't like to conform. He used to dislike all of his grandchildren or so we thought until about couple of years ago when he first told me that he was proud of me and that he loved me. After that day, he has never been the same. He has turned into the sweetest grandpa anyone could have. My grandpa served in WWII and Vietnam. He has lived through the Great Depression. He also raised a family by running his own garage. He has live a long and hard life and I look up to him a lot.

I decided to pay my grandparents a visit today because I hadn't seen them in about a month and I missed both of their birthdays because of study groups. We started chatting and laughing. They asked me about my health, school, work, and things like that. Then my grandma got a call and it was me and my grandpa sitting there talking. We were talking about politics when out of the blue, my grandpa started to cry. I asked him what the matter was. He told me how much he admired me. This really struck home. I felt amazing after he said that and tears started welling up in my eyes. He told me that I have a good head on my shoulders and it saddens him to see me in so much pain with my health and general frustrations with life. We talked about this for awhile with tears streaming down both of our cheeks. Then he told me that he has always wanted to see me go on a mission and how much he knew it meant to me (he doesn't know the real reason why I didn't go, but it meant a lot to me to see that he cares that I didn't go). He also said that it saddens him to think that I might never find a wife to raise a family with because he was excited for my children and he wanted to see me happy like he and my grandma are. He knows that I am planning to stick with the Church and he's actually glad that I decided this. It just saddens him to think that I might be alone my whole life. After many tears were shed and various discussions about topics of the like, I had to go. I got up and gave him a huge hug. He told me that he loved me so much and that he was really glad that I stopped in. I then grabbed my grandma for a minute and told her that I loved her. She asked why I had been crying and I told her to ask grandpa (I have a feeling I'll get an email about it from her tonight or tomorrow). She then told me that she loves me too and apologized for not being there to talk--I didn't care too much cause I had a good heart to heart with grandpa which doesn't happen all the time.

I'm extremely grateful for my family and I love them so much!


Matt said...

This is what we need more of in all our lives. Thank you for sharing.

Rich said...

Wow!! That's awesome!! Treasure these moments with your grandparents. Mine passed away about 5 years ago and I miss them a lot. (I do have one grandma still around - my dad's mom but she has dementia and is not the same). You are very lucky to still have such loving and supportive grandparents.

Scott said...

Family can be such a blessing. You're lucky to have so much support from and to be so close to your grandparents.

Z i n j said...

I think what you have shared will take us all into the Holiday season with an appreciation for family friends and blessings. My friends made me go golfing the other day. (I call it cow pasture pool). What saddened me was all these grandfathers that I knew out there who spent little time investing in the lives of their grandkids. I know that sounds judgemental but my own grandpa practically raised me, protected me from my father, talk me how to hunt, fish and all that stuff. My other grandmother made me work in her garden. She was an ardent environmentalist before anyone knew what green was. She fed me sage chickens for lunch and taught me to love the Yankees. (She raised 12 children mostly without a husband who died young). You have brought good stuff back. Happy Thanksgiving!

Alan said...

Good grandpas make good grandsons, obviously. Someday it'll be your turn to pass it on and you'll do just as good.