It seems like I am getting close to the end of my blogging career. I am not sure what to write about anymore and it seems like what I write about is useless to myself and others. This may change, but this is how I really feel right now.
I have never expressed my thoughts on both of the terms SSA and SGA. I have talked why I decided to identify with SSA in this post and this post and how SSA can be a gift or a curse. Other than those posts, I have not said anything about them. So here are my thoughts. I believe that Same Sex Attraction (SSA) and Same Gender Attraction (SGA) are separate terms and cannot be mixed, but a person can experience some of both of them. Sex is defined as the biological attributes of male and female while gender is defined as the social construction of male and female. Can you see the difference between the two?
SSA is about being attracted to the biological aspects of men. In other words, you are attracted to penises, facial hair, body features, and whatever other physical and biological attributes men have. It is the changes in puberty that causes boys to turn into men that attract you. SGA is about being attracted to the social definitions of men. This means that you are attracted to men that are so called "masculine," that can provide, protect, and procreate, and those who meet the social definitions that society creates of what men are supposed to be like. This is the "man code." It is what causes men to be men in society's eyes. As you can see, these definitions cannot be mixed. They are mutually exclusive, but all too often we consider them to be one and the same.
For me, I experience more SSA than SGA. I am attracted to penises. I love men with stubble-so much fun to make out to. I love the muscle structure of men, especially the "swimmer" body. I am attracted to men with body hair in certain regions, but it has to be trimmed and managed. Everything about a man's body is just considered hot to me. These are all parts of SSA. My SGAs are limited. I am not attracted to men that are more feminine than masculine and I can really care less if a man is super masculine, in fact it really turns me off if they are that way. Personally, I would like a healthy balance of femininity and masculinity. I am also not attracted to a man that can provide, protect, and procreate. I can do all of those myself and I do not need someone to do those for me. I would rather be the protector and the provider. I am also not attracted to most social definitions that are placed on men (there are too many to discuss here).
There are differences between SSA and SGA, but they can be both experienced. I think that the Church and everyone should see this and use both terms. I know that the Church mainly uses SGA and it should also start using SSA because it describes me and many others better than SGA. I know people probably think that it does not really matter, but I think that it does. I think that if you understand what you are attracted to and where your attractions come from, then you will understand yourself better. It may also explain why reparative therapy works for some people (those who experience SGA more than SSA) and why it does not work for others (those who experience SSA more than SGA). It may also explain why some attractions are linked to genetics (SSA more than SGA) and why some attractions are not (SGA more than SSA).
So I ask all of you the question, which do you experience more, SSA or SGA?