An Experiment: Update #2

I still do not have my special friend, but he is getting closer and closer to being chosen. I did, however, have a really good meeting with my bishop and the Elder's Quorum President. The bishop came to me after sacrament meeting and told me that he wanted to meet with me during priesthood. I readily agreed because I was excited and really scared to meet my new friend. BTW, I was really emotional this day for some reason and I started crying during sacrament meeting for no reason.

I headed up to the bishop's office after Sunday School and sat down with him across from me. He told me that we were going to wait for one other person. It felt like it took a century for someone to knock on the door. At this time, I was freaking out. I had never been so scared in my whole life. Then in walks the EQ President. I was told by the bishop that he wanted me to tell the EQ President about everything i.e. my situation, my struggles, what I am going through everyday, etc. Then he said that this will give the both of them the best idea of who they need to select to be my friend. This freaked me out because I thought I would only have to tell one other person, not two! I started out and I cried like a big baby. I spilled everything and could not stop crying. I spent the first hour talking and crying.

In the following thirty minutes, I was able to calm down and hold my own. The things that the bishop and EQ President said to me in those last thirty minutes were really profound. The bishop started crying. This is the first time that I have ever seen a bishop cry in a personal setting. He told me that he feels really strongly about me. He told me that he felt that he needs to help me now and not wait for some other bishop to take control of me in the Fall. He is willing to do anything for me up until the moment I leave and even after that if I ever wanted to talk to him again. It was really nice to know that someone really cares for me and my salvation that much. He said that he could not wait for me to fall, slip through the cracks, or leave and never look back. He could never forgive himself if he did that and remember that he was cry during this whole time. It was very touching.

The EQ President told me that he has a deep respect for me and my courage to do what I am doing. He definitely did not understand what I was going through, but he had respect for me. That was touching to know. He was amazed that I could live my life the way that I do everyday and to do so well. He did not think that he could ever live with the constant inner struggle that most of us go through everyday of our lives. He was also really surprised that I could play it off like everything is fine and have nobody really notice. He offered his services to me at any time and he told me that he was going to check up on me every once in awhile. He also wants to learn more about it, so I might introduce him to my blog and/or take him to the Matis'. I will have to see.

Both of these leaders are really supportive and I am glad that I was thrown into this experiment. I think that it is going to work out well and if I could get another person like my bishop and EQ President. I hope this does not come out like I am giving up on the rest of my friends here in the MoHo world. I would never do that. It is just really nice to have the support of some good straight "friends!"