I am like the wind. I am constantly changing moods. It is amazing how quickly things can change and turn for the better or for the worse for me. These past couple of days have been amazing and then suddenly everything changed yesterday. I fell back into a depressed state of being. I just wish that there could be some more stability in my life. I would love to have longer periods of happiness and shorter periods of problems and depression. I again feel extremely lonely for some odd reason. I have great friends who love me and call me to do things. I still, however, feel emptiness inside and a huge void. How can I be lonely? I just do not get it!
God, what am I supposed to do to fill this void?
ir a principal |
Ir a lateral
My path is no longer a mystery. It is before me and open. I just need to have the courage to take it...
About Me
- Sean
- I am Sean and this is who I am. There is nothing more I can say. I guess I could mention that I have Crohn's Disease and Spasmodic Torticollis, I fall in love with men, I am a swimmer, I am a member of the LDS Church, I am a state and national champion in many different things, I love music and let it define my life, I graduated from BYU with a BS in Biochemistry and a minor in Sociology as Magna Cum Laude, I love to cook, I researched at the NIH/NCI, and I working on receiving an MD/PhD at Mount Sinai School of Medicine. Yet, all of these definitions are small parts of my life. Sean is who I am really and that is how I define myself. I am Sean.
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3 comments:
Yup, that's me too. All the time. I think perhaps everyone feels that way. I think in a way Heavenly Father gives us our few days of Eden and then thinks we're ready for our next trial and He just keeps pushing us, making us keep moving on. As hard as it feels sometimes, He knows what's best and if it's time for a new (or recurring) trial, then the perfect time for it is then. In the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord tells Joseph that he is not yet as Job. I highly doubt any one of us will even be as Joseph. That's something I tell myself all the time and even though it doesn't necessarily make things easier, persay, it keeps that little ray of hope and keeps me looking forward to those few days that are "amazing periods of happiness." Keep your head up. You're doing great.
Wasn't the bishop going to stabilize you by picking you out a boy um... friend?
Charlie-Thanks for your kind words and support! I agree that I can never be like Joseph or Job. There is no possible way. I continue to look for that ray of hope and sometimes I find it. I realize that I need to proactively moving toward that light or else I will be in darkness forever.
Playa-He hasn't got him ready for me yet. I think that I get to meet him on Sunday though... I'm excited!
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