Changing like the Wind

05 July 2007
I am like the wind. I am constantly changing moods. It is amazing how quickly things can change and turn for the better or for the worse for me. These past couple of days have been amazing and then suddenly everything changed yesterday. I fell back into a depressed state of being. I just wish that there could be some more stability in my life. I would love to have longer periods of happiness and shorter periods of problems and depression. I again feel extremely lonely for some odd reason. I have great friends who love me and call me to do things. I still, however, feel emptiness inside and a huge void. How can I be lonely? I just do not get it!

God, what am I supposed to do to fill this void?


Charlie said...

Yup, that's me too. All the time. I think perhaps everyone feels that way. I think in a way Heavenly Father gives us our few days of Eden and then thinks we're ready for our next trial and He just keeps pushing us, making us keep moving on. As hard as it feels sometimes, He knows what's best and if it's time for a new (or recurring) trial, then the perfect time for it is then. In the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord tells Joseph that he is not yet as Job. I highly doubt any one of us will even be as Joseph. That's something I tell myself all the time and even though it doesn't necessarily make things easier, persay, it keeps that little ray of hope and keeps me looking forward to those few days that are "amazing periods of happiness." Keep your head up. You're doing great.

playasinmar said...

Wasn't the bishop going to stabilize you by picking you out a boy um... friend?

Gimple said...

Charlie-Thanks for your kind words and support! I agree that I can never be like Joseph or Job. There is no possible way. I continue to look for that ray of hope and sometimes I find it. I realize that I need to proactively moving toward that light or else I will be in darkness forever.

Playa-He hasn't got him ready for me yet. I think that I get to meet him on Sunday though... I'm excited!