What is Love?

21 June 2007
I have been having interesting talks with my bishop lately on love. They have been interesting to say the least. This is a new bishop (this is not the same one who was helping me originally because i changed wards). My last bishop told me that I should be completely honest with my new bishop and tell him everything, if I felt the need to. I felt like I should tell my new bishop everything so he could better understand exactly what I was going through. This has helped him understand me a lot better and what I like best about him is that he is very non-judgmental.

Lately I have been struggling with the topic of love. I have wondered many times about how I could love a man and it be wrong. I thought that love came from God. Love does not come from Satan because only evil comes from Satan. I personally do not see love as evil (sorry if some of you think that). I went to my bishop and told him how I feel and I gave him my case (it was a lot more complicated than what I described above). He was dumbfounded after I gave him my case. He really did not know what to say. The first thing he said was that it was interesting that I said that love does not come from Satan. He agreed with me on this, but he then asked the one question that strikes fear into many hearts...

He asked me, "What is love?" He then gave me a lengthy explanation about how lust can be misinterpreted as love and how lust is not the way. Being my usual feisty self, I retorted and told him that it definitely was not lust. He then asked me the question again, "What is love?" I then gave him my definition (you can see more of it on this post). I told him that I never wanted to do anything to hurt someone I loved, that I wanted what was best for them, that I would try to give up everything if I could help them, that I loved spending time with them and when they were gone I was sad, that when they are sad, I am sad, and that these is a sexual component of love with some people. He said that this definition is one that he would give of love. He agreed with me that I was not lusting after a man.

Then we had a conversation about dating and everything. I really do not want to go into that because that is for another post, if I choose to write about it. It makes me wonder though if this "gay" love is bad. According to my bishop, I am not lusting after someone. This adds another interesting twist to everything. He did tell me that if I decided to pursue a relationship (a social one) that I would have to be extremely careful for it not to develop into a sexual relationship, which would take my chance of going on a mission away. I am not sure if I am going to try dating again, but it was just something interest I thought I would throw out there.

3 comments:

playasinmar said...

It's always funny to hear priesthood leaders warn about lust.

In high school and spent a lot of time with straight folks; I saw 'em lusting after eachother every day. I saw it every day for four years of high school. I know lust and it wasn't a gay man who showed it to me.

iwonder said...

I told him that I never wanted to do anything to hurt someone I loved, that I wanted what was best for them, that I would try to give up everything if I could help them, that I loved spending time with them and when they were gone I was sad, that when they are sad, I am sad

Sure sounds like love to me. And I think that kind of relationship is extremely important for everyone, gay and straight.

dexterdigsantigone said...

I agree with iwonder's sentiments.
That love you're talking about is the pure love of Christ. We should strive to have that love for all of our brothers and sisters. As a man, Christ is our example for how we can appropriately share that love with other men. No one can love as he does now, but we can try. Going beyond that love, or expressing it to the fullest is only appropriate for a lawfully wedded man and woman. They can fully give themselves to each other and to God, expressing the sacred and powerful ability to create life.