Am I Proud To Be Gay?

06 June 2007
Since I have food poisoning right now, I am stuck at home having lovely colored flows coming out of both ends of my body. I have been hearing and reading about the "pride" of being gay. This topic has come into many discussions with some close friends. It seems like everyone has their own definitions of what this "pride" exactly is. I am going to throw mine out there and you can either agree or disagree.

Pride (according to Dictionary.com) means a becoming or dignified self of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect, self-esteem. By the way, that was the third on the list. The first two were not very good definitions. This definition defines my position on my "pride" of being gay. I do not lower my self-esteem and I do not lower my rank as a human being because I am gay. I am a perfectly normal person who likes men. I also do not loose self-respect for myself. I love myself and the fact that I am gay. There are, however, some times when I would like to not be gay. These are during depressing times though.

I guess that I can say that I am proud to be gay. Like Drex's comment on Odd's last post, I feel a great sense of pride in being gay because of the trials I go through and the experiences I have. I have learned a lot from my experiences and I have done a lot of thinking (a lot more than the typical brainwashed Mormons). I have gained a lot stronger testimony than I would have otherwise had. I have met amazing people who mean the world to me. There are just so many benefits that I have gained from being gay. I also feel like there is a greater purpose in me being gay. I am supposed to learn something from it that will help me. Even though my life and your lives are much harder than most peoples, I can proudly say that I am proud to be gay!

This has got me to the point of wondering what my life would be like if I was not gay. What would my life be like? I would probably be on a mission right now or at least being almost ready to leave (I plan to go on a mission next year at this time). I probably would have an ok relationship with my parents and brother. I would not have the view of life and the world that I have today. I would probably be hanging out with SSGs (the horror)! I would not have the same view of women as I do. I would not be able to cook, sew, accessorize, and shop. I probably would not have the testimony that I have. I would not have the amazing friends that I have right now. I think that life would be just plain boring! Is this what my life would really be like if I was not gay? I think that it is a fair guess.

I love being gay because there is so much to it. My life is a lot more complicated, but that makes it fun. It also brings different challenges in my life that not very many people get to experience (I love being unique and I love a good challenge). I used to want to have my gayness be taken away from me, but now, you could not do anything to take it away from me. I can proudly say that I am proud to be gay! Hooray for being gay!

PS Calvin and I chatted for a while and I guess I did not make a clear enough point on how I feel. I accept myself for who I am and I do not need to let everyone know that I am gay to be accepting. I also do not need to be proud to be gay by letting everyone know that I am (it is only a small part of who I am). I am not ashamed to be gay and I can be proud by just being who I am.

10 comments:

calvin said...

Crap-- I was totally going to post about this exact topic last night but didn't get around to it. Well, we obviously have different views on it so it should be an interesting discussion when I get around to it. From your post, I understand a lot more about what you mean when you say you're proud. I agree that I wouldn't have the kind of commitment I have to the gospel if I didn't feel so in need of outside strength all the time. That leads me to be thankful for the trial, and I do call it a trial, but I'm not sure if I agree with being proud of trials.

Gimple said...

I'm proud that I am going through this and handling it the best way that I can. Trials are wonderful things and in my opinion, you should be proud that you are going through them. Otherwise, you wouldn't be the person that you are today and Calvin, you are an amazing person. Stand up, and be proud for who you are and for what you are going through.

Hidden said...

Calvin and I have had numerous, numerous "disagreements" on this topic.

And I love what you put, it's so similar to the way that I feel.

-L- said...

I'm proud that I am going through this and handling it the best way that I can.

Yeah, I can second that. But that's not the same thing as being proud to be gay. It's interesting to me when deaf people are proud of being deaf in a similar way. Many of them don't want to have their hearing--they believe being deaf is an important culturally significant and intrinsic part of their identity.

If I were deaf, I'd be proud of dealing with it. And I'd get the first pair of cochlear implants I could (or whatever else I could to change it).

Gimple said...

Calvin and Odd made a good point last night. They asked me, "If I could have different experiences that teach me the same things and not having to dealing with being gay, would I do it?" I have thought a lot about this and I guess that I would have to say yes. The main reason for my pride in being gay is what I am learning and what I am accomplishing. I love being gay for what it is doing for me even with the difficulties.

Gimple said...

After I made that last comment, I have been feeling weird and incomplete. I cannot have different experiences and learn the same things. There is no possible way! God has given me this because there is no other way, just like Christ had no other way. I am supposed to go through this for a reason and I am proud to go through it!

Brady said...

I tend to agree with you Gimple. I don't think there is any other way we could have learned the same things with different experiences. I know for me, this is about the only thing I could imagine that would allow me to go through all the ranges of emotions and experiences that I am. I just don't think there is any other trial that would have impacted me in the ways that this has. It isn't the defining characteristic in my life, but definitely one of them. I'm humbled to have it (humbled sounds better than proud, but ironically, the intent is kind of the same).

Josh said...

I used to want to have my gayness be taken away from me, but now, you could not do anything to take it away from me.

Would you want it taken from you in the next life, or would you still want it then? Do you think that it can be taken away in the resurrection?

Gimple said...

Josh, thanks for the provoking thoughts. I have been thinking about it a lot lately. These are my thoughts.

I'm not entirely sure about a yes or no answer. I have a hard time believing it to because it tells us in the scriptures that our thoughts, actions, and feelings will carry over into the after-life. The scriptures, however, also say that the atonement covers everything and can it makes everything perfect. I'm not sure about which one is right and I am not a GA. My opinion, however, is that Christ loves us and whatever will make us happiest in the after-life, he will give us. If having these feelings will make us happiest, I think that we will continue to have them, but if having them taken away will make them happiest, then Christ will take them away. He wants to make and see us happy. I can't see him wanting us to suffer for eternity, unless we did not repent here on earth. Christ loves all of us no matter what. I suggest that you always remember that because it has helped me in tough times.

I hope this helped and I want to hear others opinions on it too. Please post your thoughts and feelings or maybe I should post something about it. What do y'all think?

Brady said...

I think it would make an interesting post. I think I was going to post something about that one time. Or maybe I did, I can't remember.