Am I Proud To Be Gay?

Since I have food poisoning right now, I am stuck at home having lovely colored flows coming out of both ends of my body. I have been hearing and reading about the "pride" of being gay. This topic has come into many discussions with some close friends. It seems like everyone has their own definitions of what this "pride" exactly is. I am going to throw mine out there and you can either agree or disagree.

Pride (according to Dictionary.com) means a becoming or dignified self of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect, self-esteem. By the way, that was the third on the list. The first two were not very good definitions. This definition defines my position on my "pride" of being gay. I do not lower my self-esteem and I do not lower my rank as a human being because I am gay. I am a perfectly normal person who likes men. I also do not loose self-respect for myself. I love myself and the fact that I am gay. There are, however, some times when I would like to not be gay. These are during depressing times though.

I guess that I can say that I am proud to be gay. Like Drex's comment on Odd's last post, I feel a great sense of pride in being gay because of the trials I go through and the experiences I have. I have learned a lot from my experiences and I have done a lot of thinking (a lot more than the typical brainwashed Mormons). I have gained a lot stronger testimony than I would have otherwise had. I have met amazing people who mean the world to me. There are just so many benefits that I have gained from being gay. I also feel like there is a greater purpose in me being gay. I am supposed to learn something from it that will help me. Even though my life and your lives are much harder than most peoples, I can proudly say that I am proud to be gay!

This has got me to the point of wondering what my life would be like if I was not gay. What would my life be like? I would probably be on a mission right now or at least being almost ready to leave (I plan to go on a mission next year at this time). I probably would have an ok relationship with my parents and brother. I would not have the view of life and the world that I have today. I would probably be hanging out with SSGs (the horror)! I would not have the same view of women as I do. I would not be able to cook, sew, accessorize, and shop. I probably would not have the testimony that I have. I would not have the amazing friends that I have right now. I think that life would be just plain boring! Is this what my life would really be like if I was not gay? I think that it is a fair guess.

I love being gay because there is so much to it. My life is a lot more complicated, but that makes it fun. It also brings different challenges in my life that not very many people get to experience (I love being unique and I love a good challenge). I used to want to have my gayness be taken away from me, but now, you could not do anything to take it away from me. I can proudly say that I am proud to be gay! Hooray for being gay!

PS Calvin and I chatted for a while and I guess I did not make a clear enough point on how I feel. I accept myself for who I am and I do not need to let everyone know that I am gay to be accepting. I also do not need to be proud to be gay by letting everyone know that I am (it is only a small part of who I am). I am not ashamed to be gay and I can be proud by just being who I am.