What is Life?

I just finished my biology test and one of the questions was "What is life? Here is the answer for that one: 1. Made up of cells with same elements 2. Energy flows in and out of it in various ways 3. Reacts to stimulus 4. Grows and Reproduces. This caused me to think about what life really is.

What is life? Life is something unique for everyone. It is experienced in different ways and nobody lives the same life. Someone may experience SSA, while another may experience the death of a loved on, while yet another may experience cancer or paralysis. These experiences shape who we are and what we will ultimately become. They help us grow and develop into something unique and special. We are the only ones that can understand our life and the events in it. In my depression, I have been doing a lot of thinking (I always think deeply when I am depressed). What makes me unique and special? What is life to me? What is my purpose here in life?

I titled my blog The Unknown Path to show my lack of understanding of these questions. I cannot answer these questions to their full extent now, but in the future I hope that I will be able to. My path in unknown and frankly, I am glad I do not know what is in store for me. It would probably scare me. Life is best lived in the moment and making sure there are some good long term goals in mind. I'll get back to the questions now.

What makes me unique and special? Well, I have done a lot in my life. I have an affinity for learning. I strive to better myself through doing well in school. In high school, I was HOSA, Calculus Club, and Phun Physics Phriday Club Presidents. I went to nationals in HOSA and got 3rd in the nation in my event. Besides high school and schooling in general, I love to go to museums and look around to learn something new. I am also a good swimmer. I was team captain for my high school team for three years. I am a state champion. I went to Sectionals (a step below nationals) and placed high in the rankings. I received many swimming scholarships, but denied all of them to come to BYU. I tried out for the BYU men's swim team and was the last one cut. What else makes me unique and special? I am gay and proud of it. I want to be a neurosurgeon. I like to play with dead animals and humans. Are these, however, the things that really define who I am?

What is life to me? Life is a journey and unknown path. I do not know what is in store for me, but I try my best to stick with a path. It might not be the best one, but I can always turn around. Besides that, life is something that teaches me. I am learning constantly from my experiences. I have learned a lot by confronting my "gayness" in these past couple of months. I have gained an extreme love for myself and deep connection with some amazing people. Life is amazing. Life is also a place to find happiness. I have been unhappy lately and I am trying to find happiness again, but it seems like it is out of reach. I find it in some simple pleasures (some of you might know what they are). Despite the hardness of life, I know that it will make me an amazing person and that I will learn a lot from it. Do these lessons also define who I really am?

What is my purpose here in life? My purpose has been defined to me in my Patriarchal Blessing (it is too sacred to share it with all of you, sorry) and it might continue to be shaped from different events in my life. My Patriarchal Blessing clearly states what I am and what I can and will do here in life. I see many of these things in it every day in my life. Other things also come up in life that shape a new purpose for me in life. Sometimes I feel like I am running away from my purpose. I do not want to runaway from who I am meant to be because this really defines who I really am.

My purpose defines me. My accomplishments, uniqueness, and the lessons I have learned do not define me. They instead modify me and prepare me for my divine purpose. My purpose is inside of me and is continually being shaped by the hand of God. Once I find it and accomplish the things in it, I will be truly happy...