Ok, this is my second post today. I'm weird, I know! Today has been full of ups and downs. I guess I'll tell you about my day. It started off waking up at 5:30 to get to my final at 7. I was there early to get a last minute run through of my notes. I felt like I did really good on it! I, however, spent the whole 3 hours on it. I guess that's not a bad thing. I then went to sell back my books and got $121 dollars from all of my chemistry books. I was really excited!
I then called Brady and we chatted for a while. I went to the library to study and then I went to Brady's apartment to help him with his car. We went out to lunch and had a great time. Then we came to the library to study some more. Now, Brady is taking his test (I hope and pray that he is doing well) and I am stuck in the library being depressed.
I am really sick of studying and I want finals to be over! This, however, is not the cause of my depression (at least I don't think it is). For some reason, I have lately been feeling a void in my life. I am not sure what exactly this void is, but it needs filling. Everything that I do seems to make it worse. I do not know how to fill it. This pain is great inside of me and I do not know how to fix it and it is really bothering me! What's the matter with me?
Life is great right now. I am doing well on all of my finals. I have great friends. I have a great job. I am on good terms with my family. I feel the Savior's love in my life. I am receiving blessings in my life. The list can go on and on! Why am I so sad? Everything is supposed to be grossly great! Despite these feel goods, this is not how I feel right now.
I can feel for you AtP. I really just want someone to come and give me a giant hug, someone who will let me fall asleep in their arms, or someone who could just help me fill this void! It is so awful right now that I am about to cry. I don't know what to do! Will somebody please help me or at least will give me some comfort?
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About Me
- Sean
- I am Sean and this is who I am. There is nothing more I can say. I guess I could mention that I have Crohn's Disease and Spasmodic Torticollis, I fall in love with men, I am a swimmer, I am a member of the LDS Church, I am a state and national champion in many different things, I love music and let it define my life, I graduated from BYU with a BS in Biochemistry and a minor in Sociology as Magna Cum Laude, I love to cook, I researched at the NIH/NCI, and I working on receiving an MD/PhD at Mount Sinai School of Medicine. Yet, all of these definitions are small parts of my life. Sean is who I am really and that is how I define myself. I am Sean.
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3 comments:
Just like I said to AtP, people can be a huge source of comfort, but they can't fill a void inside you. Only the Savior can do that. He can take away your loneliness and pain. I don't know if that's what you want to hear right now, but I hope that you'll consider it as an option. I know that Christ really is our greatest friend.
I hope you know that we all want to do whatever we can to make this less painful for you. Whatever it is you're feeling, I hope that you start to feel better soon. We're here for you.
Not that it's much consolation, but yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in years. There was not reason for it to be so awful, but I was just absolutely... kind of like you are describing. The good news is, today was much better. My moods don't always turn around so fast, but I'm glad when they do. Hopefully, you'll get some relief from your funk really soon! :-)
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