Ups and Downs

23 October 2008
I have been having a lot of ups and downs because I am not sure what is going to happen in my life at the moment. There is the possibility of cancer and dropping out of school to receive treatment. The other possibility is not having cancer and continuing my life as normal. When I think that I might have cancer, I am mainly afraid. I don't want to die, I don't want to go through chemotherapy and radiation, I don't want to lose my hair, I don't want to be in more pain, and I just don't want to go through it. It scares me to think that a 20 year old like me sometimes goes through this. It's hard and weighs down on me.

I have noticed that the more that I don't think about it, the better I am and not weighed down by the world of the unknown. I have tried to continue with my life as normally as I can and losing myself in passion for what I love. Passion and seeking my dreams is what keeps me whole and complete. It is what keeps me happy and helps me have a good outlook on life. Passion keeps the monsters of my life away. Life right now, without this passion, would be hell and incomplete.

3 comments:

David said...

Sean! I've never been in a situation like that, so I don't know if this is good advice or not! But you have no control over whether or not you have cancer...there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, and nothing you can do to change things one way or the other (except for prayer, maybe, but that's a different subject.) So do your best to accept that and deal with whatever comes your way. Don't waste alot of time worrying about things you can't change. You do have control over how you react to things though...keep up the positive attitude and the passion! You're awesome, Sean...call me or text me whenever you need to.

playasinmar said...

...I don't want to lose my hair...

What hair, swimmer?

Rich said...

Sean, what's the latest? Any new news? I've been thinking about you.

Rich