22 May 2008

It has been raining here in Happy Valley for the past two days and I love it! I love the rain. I love making rain angels on the sidewalk, swimming in the rain, puddle jumping, running around trying not to get wet, the smell of rain, not having to clean my car, and watching rain drops hit puddles making the lovely, perfect rings. Rain, for some reason, brings back a lot of memories.

I remember when I was little and there was a really bad rain storm/microburst one night. My best friend, Malerie, was sleeping over at my house. Together we sat and watched the rain fall, the wind blow, the lightning strike, and the thunder roar. During the scary parts, we would grab each other and hold each other close. Now as time has drifted us apart, I still remember how close we once were and how close we could still be. Her mom hoped for the longest time that we would get married. This, however, is not going to happen because she is getting married this Saturday. I regret not staying closer to her these past years, but friendship goes both ways. We are still really good friends, but not the friends that can hold each other like we once were. It makes me sad.

It also seems like the first time I kiss someone happens when it is raining. The first two people that I ever kissed was when it was raining. Then a handful of others have also been in the rain. I enjoy kissing someone in the rain. I find it very erotic and passionate.

My last big race while I was swimming competitively was in the rain. I still remember being in Arizona in the middle of April. It was right before my 200 back when it started to rain. The air cooled and the pool started to steam. This was my favorite condition to swim in. It soon became my turn to swim. I shed my clothes and there I stood in my legskin with my cap and goggles on. The cool rain hit my body and I shivered. The whistle blew and I jumped in the water. I prepared myself for the start and I distinctly remember thanking God for my favorite conditions to swim in and asking Him to bless me with a great swim. The started beeped and off I went. I hit every wall and had great underwaters. My stroke felt amazing and so did my pace. I finished with a best time and placed really high. It felt so good.

It was also raining/snowing when I first told my first girlfriend that I was gay. It was an amazing experience. I do not know if Caitlin felt the same way as I did, but I felt the Spirit really strongly. I also felt God's love, Christ's love, and her love for me. With tears flooding my eyes, we talked about everything. She was there and so supportive. I still love her to this day. Sadly, our relationship has also waned. I wish that we could stay close and that we were as close as our freshman year.

I guess rain also reminds me of crying. I have shed my fair share of tears in life. Some of them were happy and sad, but that does not matter. Crying feels good and it makes me feel deeply connected with my emotions. It also makes me feel human and real.

I love the rain...


October Rising said...

I love the rain too! Although, I think we get too much of it here in Seattle. But it does keep the air clean and the land green :)