Shame

06 January 2008
This is another great snippet from Truth and Beauty: A Friendship, by Ann Patchett.
Lucy was ashamed of the way she ate. She felt enormous shame at the idea of having food on her chin or breaking out into a sweat when she swallowed. She was ashamed of her teeth because she could not close her mouth. She was ashamed of her eyelid, which had stayed swollen off and on ever since that surgery in Aberdeen. It drove her crazy and she was certain that everyone noticed it. I told her constantly that those were things she should in no way be ashamed of, that shame should be reserved for the things we choose to do, not the circumstances that life puts on us.

This part of the book reminded me of my past. I remember when I first went to my bishop and how I felt much shame for the things that I had done and because I deal with SSA. I was right, according to Ann Patchett and me, to be ashamed for my actions, but I should not have been ashamed of the fact that I deal with SSA. It was not until my counselor told me that it is perfectly normal to deal with SSA. He told me that I am a normal person and that I should live life to its fullest. I am not abnormal and neither are any of you!

Take Ann Patchett's advice and do not be ashamed for who you are and what you deal with. Everybody has there follies and weaknesses, but it does not make them abnormal. Each one and everyone one of us is not abnormal. We are normal people dealing with SSA. In my opinion, I say that we all should get over the fact that we deal with SSA and continue to live productive lives. It does not help to dwell on it and it can make life worse by dwelling on it.

1 comments:

Kengo Biddles said...

I agree that we need not shame ourselves for things that we have no control over. But we of course need to take the reigns in hand so that our passions don't run us, but we run them. And I think that the way you're living your life is a very good example of just that.

(Feliz Cumpleanos, amigo mio)