Crushing

I recently told a friend last week that I didn't have any crushes at the moment. Boy o' boy has this changed. I have developed two crushes over the past week and it feels good to have these feelings again, even though they aren't going to go anywhere.

A friend of mine recently challenged me to talk to this guy I thought was very attractive in one of my classes to see if he wanted to form a study group. I have talked to this guy a little here and there so I didn't think it would be too awkward asking him to form a study group. Well, I did it and we have a study group going. As I have gotten to know him, the more I have started to crush on him. He plays for the lacrosse team here at BYU and he isn't Mormon--I thought it was weird of him to come here, but apparently we have a good lacrosse team and some of his friends were coming here to play so he tagged along. He is my age and from back east. He is hilarious, smart, driven, good-looking, and did I mention that he is totally straight... Sad story... he is definitely my type and I'm kind of sad. Oh well, such is life when you crush on a straight boy.

My other crush happens to be my MCAT teacher. I stayed after class on Saturday during his office hours to get help on something that I was struggling with. We then got talking and it ended up with me coming out to him. He totally thought I was in denial and was afraid to admit it to myself and he was surprised I had been out since I was 18. We spent the next 3 hours talking while he was helping me with my struggles on the MCAT. It was a lot of fun. We talked about this other guy in our class who is definitely gay and laughed about making him come out to the both of us. We also talked about me going to BYU, him serving a mission, and tons of other random topics. It was so much fun talking to him. During those hours, I really started to like him. He is such a great guy too. He went to Stanford, was on the track team, is finishing his masters degree, is applying to medical school, and tons of other things that really attract me to him.

There you have it. I'm totally crushing on these two guys and it feels good.