This is an update of my life. I just want you all to know that I do not want any of you pitying me or telling me how sorry you are for me. It is another part of my life and another learning experience that God sees fit to give me. I have gotten over the self-loathing and I do not need it to come back because of what others say.
For the past couple weeks, I have been in severe pain. My abdomen has been hurting and it has gotten to the point that my testicles would start to hurt. Yeah, it definitely is not very fun. The pain peaked on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I definitely wanted to die because it hurt so bad. My mom finally took me into the hospital Monday night. We went there and had a pretty good time. I was there until about 2, I had tons of tests performed on me, and I got to drink one of the nastiest drinks I have ever drunk in my life! They told me that I had some problems with my intestines and that I would need to see a specialist.
I did not go to school on Tuesday because I slept most of the day. I also had an appointment with the gastroenterologist. It was fun, except when he touched me where it hurt the most and I doubled in pain. He told me that I most likely had Crohn's Disease, but I would have an endoscopy just to make sure. I went out to eat with some family friends because their and basically my grandma died on Sunday.
I again did not go to school on Wednesday because of the funeral and because I was sick and in a lot of pain. The funeral was really good for me and the family. It felt nice to feel her love for me and to feel the love I had for her. It was also good to see one of my best friends who moved away.
Valentine's Day came around and I felt like hell. The pain and feeling sick was just killing me. I sat at home all day waiting for it to end. I had to go to one of my classes because I had to take a test (that was the worst experience of my life) and then I came home immediately to start my preparations for the endoscopy on Friday. The preparations I had to do was drink this nasty solution every 10 minutes. I started at 5 and was supposed to be done at 8, but it was so gross and I had an awfully hard time keeping it down. I finished at 11:30. It just about killed me and it made me so weak. I wanted to die. Calvin and Delilah came to visit me though so that made my night a lot better.
Then came Friday morning. I got up early for the procedure and went in. It was a quick procedure that only took about ten minutes. The results came out positive for Crohn's Disease. I went home and was pretty down, but I was happy at the same time because that meant that I could start treatment. Dancing Queen came to visit me and brought me a rose and a late valentine balloon. It was really sweet of her. Then Brady came over after dinner and we watched a movie.
I went out last night with Delilah and had a great time. We then met up with Calvin and Brady. I ended the night early cause I was in severe pain, but I still had a good time. I am now a pill popper because I take about forty pills a day. It is ok though. I am trying to live my life the best I can. Now, I am just trying to be as happy as I can be and living life.
It also makes me wonder what God is going to throw at me next. Whatever it is, I think that I can handle it and that it will be the best thing for me. He does this because He loves me.
I also want to say that I love my family and that they are so good to me because they have sacrificed a lot this past week. They are so wonderful to me.
I should be doing homework cause I have not been to school all week and I need to catch up. UGH!
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6 comments:
Hi.I live in Australia and am new to the whole mormon queerosphere concept!I am TOTALLY amazed at how much I have in common with you all!!Yes,I'm gay.Yes,I'm mormon.Yes,I too have crohn,s disease!!You wouldn't read about it!Well,I guess you are!!
it's been about 13 years since I went thru what you went thru and I got down to 54kgs.I'm 6ft1in.I have never used western medicine and I'm here to tell you-ginger became my best friend!!And still is.Food has always been a major issue for me,so I know what you are going thru.Nice to meet you!!!!
I have to confess, I had to look up Crohn's disease because I didn't know what it was - it sounds yucky. (oops, sorry, I should be cheering you up)
I would have an endoscopy just to make sure.
Is that the same as a colonoscopy? I've had 3 of those (I have to have them every 5 years because they once found some polyps in my colon). You are right, the stuff they make you drink the night before to 'clean you out' has got to be the absolutely worst tasting in the entire world! And then they pump air into your colon so that they can see it better; so, you end up farting all the next day. The recovery room sounds like they put a bunch of whoopy cushions under you :) ... but, I guess you know that by now ...
According to Wikipedia: Certain lifestyle changes can reduce symptoms, including dietary adjustments, proper hydration and smoking cessation.
So, you're just going have to give up smoking - I don't care what you say. :)
I am now a pill popper because I take about forty pills a day.
Welcome to my life - it's hell getting old :(
The good news is: With treatment, most people achieve a healthy height and weight, and the mortality rate for the disease is low.
I'll be keeping you in my prayers.
I love you! And... hey come May-ish, we might as well be neighbors!! Woot!
You, are amazing!
One of my best friends had to come home from his mission because of Crohn's disease. It sucked horribly at first, but he's adapting to it.
I don't doubt you'll get a handle on it very soon, but it does make life a bit more complicated. I guess God thinks you're ready to take life to the next level, eh?
And I thought irritable bowel was bad...
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