"Seriously, I Need Some Action"

I have been having an email conversation with my good friend Caitlin who is in London on study abroad and something interesting came up that I wanted to share with all of you.

She told me a story of all of her roommates (there are like 12 of them) sitting around and talking. They were tip-toeing around the subject of getting some sort of affection from guys and then finally flat-out said, "Seriously, I need some action." There are around 30 girls in her study abroad group and 3 or 4 guys--I do not remember exactly. So the chances of hooking up and getting some action are very slim unless they hook up with the locals. When I read this in her email, I laughed really hard. Then I thought that this applies to me and almost everyone too--unless there are some people out there who are never horny.

I need and crave action just like every straight and gay person in the world. I guess the problem is that I crave action from guys and according to the Church, getting action from guys is wrong. I have never had the desire to cuddle, make-out, and have sex with a woman. It is just something that is not appealing to me. I will give you two examples that have happened to me in the last little while. About two weeks ago, I was hanging out with one of my straight friends--he is now on a mission... :(. I find him attractive and we were watching a movie at his place. I just wanted to get closer to him and cuddle with him. Then the other night I was hanging out with two girls. They are both fairly attractive and they are really fun. We went back to their place to watch a movie. We all jumped in their lovesac and cuddled. I cuddled with them because they wanted to do it. I did feel nice, but it was not something that I was craving. Another example is with another girl. She likes me a lot. She has been putting the moves on me and trying to get some action from her. The thing is that I do not want to kiss her or even get close to her. It kind of repulses me to be quite honest.

These moments when I get horny and crave action (it happens a lot) can be trying and break me down after awhile. After being broken down, I satisfy these cravings by sometimes going to masturbation and porn, but these are also bad and I personally do not like being addicted to either of them. They make me feel gross and out of control of my life. I wish there was an easier way to curve these cravings. Alas, there is not...

The moral of the story is that I am gay and horny. I need some action, but the place that I want action causes problems with the Church. Sigh...