The Savior

I wrote this post last night and did not post it. I went to church, but left sick. Church was really good today and I am bummed I had to miss out. I always enjoy testimony meeting when actual testimonies are being born. I felt the Spirit strongly today. Then I have been having the impression to bear my own testimony and I guess this is how I do it.

I have been tossing and turning for awhile now. I cannot sleep. It is now past 3 a.m. I do not feel well, but I know that this is not my problem. I have something on my mind that I think needs to be said. It is a big part of my testimony and it plays a big part in how I try to live my life.

First of all, I just want to say God and the Savior loves all of you, more so than we can comprehend. God so loved the world that He sent His Only Begotten to the world to suffer, bleed, and die for all mankind so that we might be resurrected and obtain the highest glory. Christ suffered for all of our sins, infirmities, pain, inadequacies, weaknesses, and whatever else you consider bad. He felt it and He is able to understand what we go through because of this. All the while, God watched his Son do this. That is only a small part of God's and Christ's love for us that we can fathom or at least try to fathom.

Second of all, I believe that when Christ came to earth, he became a completely mortal man who had the same struggles as you and me. Christ was in no way, shape, or form the divine being that He once was. He had the potential to become that once again, but once he passed through the veil, all of that was gone. I think that the humanness of Christ can be seen when John dies and Jesus weeps and mourns his death and when in Gethsemane Jesus falls on his face, has an angel strengthen him, and asks God to take away the bitter cup. There are many other instances like these that show the humanness of Jesus and I believe that we should take note of them as we read the scriptures. Jesus, when he came to earth, was no different from us except for the fact that He was the Only Begotten of the Father. This means Jesus could have made mistakes, gotten dirty with sin, and not accomplish His divine task. He could have sinned as we sin. As we know, He did not sin against His Father. He chose to stay true to the teachings of the gospel. We must try to do the same.

I now want to say something that some might find controversial and you all must remember that this is my opinion. You can either disagree or agree with me. It does not matter.

I believe that Christ had same-sex attractions. We know that he was tempted with everything while he was here on earth, so it makes sense that he was attracted to men. I believe that He probably dealt with it His entire life, like most of us will have to. Jesus went through the exact same struggles that we go through, the feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, hate, rejection, etc. He, however, did not act upon those feelings and stayed true to the gospel. I also believe He was truly happy because He followed His Father's teachings or else He would not have done what He did.

Knowing or believing (whatever you want to call it) this has helped me gain a proper perspective here in life. It may be hard, but it is worth it. Christ's life was very hard and my life cannot even compare to the trials that He had to go through. He did not act upon His natural desires, so I must try hard not to act upon my natural desires. Jesus gained glory in heaven that none of us can comprehend for the way He lived His life. Personally, I want that glory too, so I must try hard to follow His example. I know that I have made mistakes, but I know that I have been forgiven because of Christ's love for me and through the power of the Atonement. That power is real. I wish that I could be like the Savior and handle every temptation that comes my way, but right now, I cannot. I know that it takes one step at a time and I try my hardest every day to be a little more like Him.

Are we better than the Savior and can do whatever we want? I think not.