I read a post by Boskers this morning about friendship. Having friends is an interesting concept because it is different for everyone. Some people need to have as many friendships as possible, whether these friendship are close or not does not matter. Then there are others who need to have a few close friendships or a small group that they click with and always do things with. Finally, there are few who can have many acquaintances, some closer acquaintances, and a close friend or two and be happy. Note: These aren't the only categories, but more like extremes. I realize that there are mixes of these three categories that I've claimed.
As I have looked at my friendships since reading that post, I've realized that I fall into the final category. I have many acquaintances that I may occasionally do something with or talk to. I also have some closer friends that I see more often and go out to lunch with. Finally, I have a couple of close friends (I'm going to say two) that I regularly hang out with... well, kind of. Regularly for me is maybe once in a week or two. It doesn't happen very often. I have come to see myself as a lone wolf. I came to this vision of myself as I was writing my medical school essays.
As a lone wolf, I feel like I don't need friendships. I don't need people in my life. I guess that is why a lot of my friendships come and go. I makes me wonder if my friends realize this. Anyways, I digress... I am completely contempt to work, research, study, go to school, serve at the retirement home, and read a book, instead of interacting with others. There are many Friday and Saturday nights where I am in the research lab until 9 or 10 pm or I might be studying in the library. I don't crave social interaction, unless it is with my close friends (the two of them). They are the people that I miss and they fill a small void that I have inside of me. I love them dearly and would hate to have them out of my life.
So yeah, I really don't know why I am writing this. It was my stream of conscientiousness running wild. Here is a shout out to my two best friends Nile-o and Sherica. I love you both! :)
PS I hope that I didn't make any of my closer friends or acquaintances feel bad by reading this. It was just some thoughts that came out of my head. I love all my friends, even though we aren't as close as my two best friends.
Drained
22 October 2009
I am completely drained; drained beyond comprehension. I want everything to be done. I don't want any of this anymore. I'm only getting four or five hours of sleep each night. I'm drowning in everything that I am involved in. I'm falling behind in classes, yet still holding on to good grades. I spend way too much time in the research lab, but I can't leave because I have experiments running that need my attention. I spent seven hours at a swim meet yesterday that should have only been three or less. Then the day before I had a coaches meeting that went on for three hours. I think that I've actually over-done myself this time. I am also sick of waiting for interviews. I have been questioning if I am a good applicant or not. If I am meant to go to medical school. If I can even handle medical school. These feelings have also stopped me from finishing my last four applications. Some are due the first of November and I need to finish them quickly, while others are due in the middle of November. I need to hurry and finish those. Everything is crashing down. Why can't this end? When will the madness stop?
I have a project that I should be working on at the moment that is due at eleven tonight, but I have no motivation. I haven't had time to work on it. I just want to go to bed and sleep. I feel like my purpose in life is lost. My passion is lost. I'm just going through the motions to stay afloat.
FML.
I have a project that I should be working on at the moment that is due at eleven tonight, but I have no motivation. I haven't had time to work on it. I just want to go to bed and sleep. I feel like my purpose in life is lost. My passion is lost. I'm just going through the motions to stay afloat.
FML.
Help!
07 October 2009
I am stuck on one of my last medical school applications because I am not sure what to write about. Here is the prompt: "What makes you special, someone who will add to the Mount Sinai community?" This prompt has given me a lot of trouble, more so than any other. This is because I need to write an essay that isn't full of cockiness and arrogance, yet at the same time I have to show that I am a unique person that will bring something to Mount Sinai Medical School. I turn this over to all of you because I am not sure what to write about and all of my friends and family say generic things to write about.
What do you think makes me special?
What do you think makes me special?
The Killers!
25 September 2009
-"Spaceman" by The Killers
In honor of the killers and me gong to their concert tomorrow! I'm pretty much stoked! HUZZAH!
Awesome!
24 September 2009
This is awesome! I want to do this sometime...
http://splashnewsonline.celebuzz.com/2009/09/video-flash-mob-madonna-tokyo.html
http://splashnewsonline.celebuzz.com/2009/09/video-flash-mob-madonna-tokyo.html
Engaged? Married? Gay?
23 September 2009
I have had so many adventures in just one day! I can't believe it. Seriously... It is such a good day because of all of my adventures even though I have a lot of school work, research, work, medical school applications, and everything else going on!
The first adventure came when I ran into someone from my freshman ward. He served a mission and now he is home, obviously. This guy I for sure know is gay. My gaydar went off from the moment I met him and he continued to set it off the more that I interacted with him. My interactions with him today set it off all over again. Today he had a pastel purple shirt on (lilac) and he recently had his hair done with highlights. He was wearing tight jeans and amazing shoes (I want his shoes really bad). As we talked and caught up a little bit, he suddenly says that he has to introduce his fiance to me. I was caught really off guard! He has only been home for three months and he is already getting married! What the crap?!?! This is not right. I wanted to tell him that it's ok to be gay and accept yourself before you get into a marriage, but I held my tongue. His fiance seems really nice and innocent... I believe she is a sophomore that he met in class--making her 19 or 20. Sigh... I hope it works out for them.
My next adventure came when I ran into one of my old friends from high school. I hadn't seen her in ages and we spent some time catching up. I guess that there are some rumors going around the Timpview High School class of 2006 that I am engaged or married. Seriously... I want to know who is spreading those rumors around! hahaha! I have only had one girlfriend in my life and now she is just one of my good friends. I don't know where people are getting these things. I find it highly amusing. Then to add to this adventure, another person from my graduating class said the same thing! I heard it from two mouths and now I guess I only need a third to make the rumor to be legit. I wonder where everybody is getting it from.
My third adventure was in my Immunology class. My professor was talking about "promiscuous" MHCs and she said a lot of things that could be taken the wrong way. The whole time I was stifling laughs. She had no idea what she was saying. Then out of the blue, a really annoying kid in the back of the class says, "Do you think that MHC II DM knocks up MHC Class II?" because she kind of said something similar. Everybody got a good chuckle out of that joke and then she was watching what she was saying for the rest of time. It was a let down... oh well, such is life sometimes.
My last adventure, so far, was with the guy who stares as me on campus. I saw him yet again today. Well, I did see him yesterday too. He was definitely staring at me and so instead of ignoring him this time, I stared right back. I think I freaked him out because he quickly stopped staring. He then quickly packed his bag and then left. My guess is that he doesn't read my blog, that he is gay, and that he is my secret admirer/stalker... I'll have to see if he stays on the same route as me and continue to stare.
That's about it for right now. I may post a few more adventures if they come up today because toady is an adventurous day!
I kind of feel like Dora the Explorer for say that...
The first adventure came when I ran into someone from my freshman ward. He served a mission and now he is home, obviously. This guy I for sure know is gay. My gaydar went off from the moment I met him and he continued to set it off the more that I interacted with him. My interactions with him today set it off all over again. Today he had a pastel purple shirt on (lilac) and he recently had his hair done with highlights. He was wearing tight jeans and amazing shoes (I want his shoes really bad). As we talked and caught up a little bit, he suddenly says that he has to introduce his fiance to me. I was caught really off guard! He has only been home for three months and he is already getting married! What the crap?!?! This is not right. I wanted to tell him that it's ok to be gay and accept yourself before you get into a marriage, but I held my tongue. His fiance seems really nice and innocent... I believe she is a sophomore that he met in class--making her 19 or 20. Sigh... I hope it works out for them.
My next adventure came when I ran into one of my old friends from high school. I hadn't seen her in ages and we spent some time catching up. I guess that there are some rumors going around the Timpview High School class of 2006 that I am engaged or married. Seriously... I want to know who is spreading those rumors around! hahaha! I have only had one girlfriend in my life and now she is just one of my good friends. I don't know where people are getting these things. I find it highly amusing. Then to add to this adventure, another person from my graduating class said the same thing! I heard it from two mouths and now I guess I only need a third to make the rumor to be legit. I wonder where everybody is getting it from.
My third adventure was in my Immunology class. My professor was talking about "promiscuous" MHCs and she said a lot of things that could be taken the wrong way. The whole time I was stifling laughs. She had no idea what she was saying. Then out of the blue, a really annoying kid in the back of the class says, "Do you think that MHC II DM knocks up MHC Class II?" because she kind of said something similar. Everybody got a good chuckle out of that joke and then she was watching what she was saying for the rest of time. It was a let down... oh well, such is life sometimes.
My last adventure, so far, was with the guy who stares as me on campus. I saw him yet again today. Well, I did see him yesterday too. He was definitely staring at me and so instead of ignoring him this time, I stared right back. I think I freaked him out because he quickly stopped staring. He then quickly packed his bag and then left. My guess is that he doesn't read my blog, that he is gay, and that he is my secret admirer/stalker... I'll have to see if he stays on the same route as me and continue to stare.
That's about it for right now. I may post a few more adventures if they come up today because toady is an adventurous day!
I kind of feel like Dora the Explorer for say that...
Person I See A Lot...
19 September 2009
Dear person that I see a lot on campus who I see staring at me:
If you are reading this blog and recognize me, just come up to me and say hi. I promise I won't be freaked out in the least bit. I see you on campus probably three or four times a week and you are always staring at me. My guess is that you are family, read my blogs, and recognize me from my picture in my profile and the pictures I have posted of myself on all of my blogs. I have never had the guts to go up to you and ask you if you read my blog because what if I am mistaken or what if I freak you out? I don't want to deal with that. I hate drama. On top of that, I'm not sure if you are out of the closet and what if I "out" you and push you further into the closet? I would hate to do that. This goes out to you, person that I see a lot on campus who I see staring at me, I would like you to at least say hi to me and tell me that you read my blogs (this goes out there to anyone who reads my blogs and sees me on campus or around the town). That way I know that you aren't some creepy guy staring at me.
Sincerely,
Sean
PS If I am with people, please don't come up to me. I'm not out to everyone so I don't want to be outed either (this goes for people that see me from around town too). This shouldn't happen very often because I am usually walking alone when I see you.
If you are reading this blog and recognize me, just come up to me and say hi. I promise I won't be freaked out in the least bit. I see you on campus probably three or four times a week and you are always staring at me. My guess is that you are family, read my blogs, and recognize me from my picture in my profile and the pictures I have posted of myself on all of my blogs. I have never had the guts to go up to you and ask you if you read my blog because what if I am mistaken or what if I freak you out? I don't want to deal with that. I hate drama. On top of that, I'm not sure if you are out of the closet and what if I "out" you and push you further into the closet? I would hate to do that. This goes out to you, person that I see a lot on campus who I see staring at me, I would like you to at least say hi to me and tell me that you read my blogs (this goes out there to anyone who reads my blogs and sees me on campus or around the town). That way I know that you aren't some creepy guy staring at me.
Sincerely,
Sean
PS If I am with people, please don't come up to me. I'm not out to everyone so I don't want to be outed either (this goes for people that see me from around town too). This shouldn't happen very often because I am usually walking alone when I see you.
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