There are a bunch of people (Mohos and family friendly friends) going 80's dancing next Thursday. We are going to dress up, have a good time, and party! Anybody who wants to come with us, email me, text me, call me, comment on this post, or whatever it takes to get a hold of me and I will give you more information. Hope all is well with everyone!
PS I have decided to stay... :)
Should I Stay OR Should I Go?
21 August 2007
As many of you have noticed, I have not been blogging for a very long time and I have been wondering if it is worth it. I have moved on and I really feel like I do not need blogging to help me out in my life anymore. I am extremely happy and it has not gone away! I also do not know if my blog actually help anyone with problems (like I wanted) and if they allow others to gain insights from my experiences. I just do not know if I should keep on writing, but if people want me to stay and continue to write, I will.
I am asking you all your opinion. Should I stay or should I go? I would like emails, comments, or any other method to portray your thoughts and feelings to me. Have I helped you? Have I given you insights? Do you want to continue to hear from me?
Please let me know or else I will probably just stop writing without any of your input.
I am asking you all your opinion. Should I stay or should I go? I would like emails, comments, or any other method to portray your thoughts and feelings to me. Have I helped you? Have I given you insights? Do you want to continue to hear from me?
Please let me know or else I will probably just stop writing without any of your input.
Still on Vacation...
08 August 2007
I thought that I would quickly write an update of my life. First, I would like to apologize for not reading or commenting on others blogs. I have a feeling that I have a lot of catching up to do!
I just want to say that I have never been happier! I feel like I am getting back to my old self (one that most of you do not know). I have not felt this way in a long time (probably not since I have been in elementary school). This is a true happiness, not a fake one that lasts a day or one that I pretend to have. I am truly happy. My life has changed a lot. I rarely get lonely anymore. I know that I have people who love and care about me. I have the Spirit with me most of the time. Everything just seems to be going my way.
To top it all off, I think that I have fully accepted me being gay and not caring what people think anymore. I thought that I fully accepted it before, but now that I look back, I realize that I had not. Now, I will be myself with anyone, including my swimmers. I will not say that guy is cute or I want some action with him (I continue to hide that), but I just be myself. I have become more open with everyone than I have ever been before. It is great and life is great!
I hope that everyone is doing well and I do not really know when I am going to start blogging again. I am thinking that it will probably be after finals next week or maybe not until September. I will just have to see how I am feeling.
The picture above is of good times that I have had with my swim team. I remember that I was really happy at that time, but it did not last. I think that this happiness that I am feeling is going to last for a long time. I am as happy as "the head" is right now...
A Ranting Vacation
01 August 2007
I would like to thank all of you who read my blog and especially those who comment. I love all of you, despite my lack of knowing some of you. I just wanted to tell everyone that I am going to be taking a break. I am perfectly fine, but I just do not have the time and effort to write posts.
Here is a little rant for y'all. I have only really been writing depressing posts because those are the ones I need to get out and off my chest. My life is mostly great and I love it a lot. There are just some hard times. One thing that really bothers me is when people comment or email that I should think about going on pills. Personally, I do not think pills will help me. Sure I have ups and downs, but it is a natural part of life. I am not depressed all the time! My counselor has told me that I am perfectly fine psychologically and that I am just a normal person. So please quit telling me that I need pills!
That is all. I am done for awhile and I hope that when I get back you will read my blog again.
Here is a little rant for y'all. I have only really been writing depressing posts because those are the ones I need to get out and off my chest. My life is mostly great and I love it a lot. There are just some hard times. One thing that really bothers me is when people comment or email that I should think about going on pills. Personally, I do not think pills will help me. Sure I have ups and downs, but it is a natural part of life. I am not depressed all the time! My counselor has told me that I am perfectly fine psychologically and that I am just a normal person. So please quit telling me that I need pills!
That is all. I am done for awhile and I hope that when I get back you will read my blog again.
An Experiment: Update #4
23 July 2007
So I have not blogged in awhile and I have been really busy, lonely, and just whatever. I am, however, doing fine. Please do not worry about me. It is just the way feel.
I think what contributed to my loneliness was no update in getting my friend. The bishop was out of town two Sundays ago. I was supposed to get my friend, or at least I think I was. I still have not gotten him. I feel like the bishop has just left me in the dust. It seems as if he does not care about me anymore. He has not called me into his office and he has not called me on my phone in a long time. I feel like I have been beaten up by getting my hopes up and left in the ditch to die. It is not really fun.
What also contributed to these feelings was that my EQ President did not call me all last week. He finally called me on Saturday, but I was really angry at him so I did not answer the phone. He left a message that I listened to and it was as if he felt like he had been there the whole time. I texted him and told him that I was busy and could not talk or do anything with him tonight (I was not lying). He then wanted to talk to me yesterday. I was not going to be at church so he set up an appointment with me to talk. My home teachers also scheduled to come over. The home teachers were supposed to be there thirty minutes before my EQ President arrived. They did not show up until after my EQ President, so we did not get to talk. He told me to come to Ward Prayer and then we could talk afterwards. This, however, did not happen. I texted him again letting him know that I was free to talk and that I would be waiting for him. He did not text me back until midnight. He perpetuated the feelings that I have been feeling because of the lack of support from my bishop.
In short, I am extremely lonely. I have great friends, but for some reason I continue to feel lonely. I do not know why. I have tried to get rid of this loneliness, but it comes and goes with the situations I am in. I also feel like I have been forgotten by a lot of my friends. I guess this is the update of the experiment and my life.
I think what contributed to my loneliness was no update in getting my friend. The bishop was out of town two Sundays ago. I was supposed to get my friend, or at least I think I was. I still have not gotten him. I feel like the bishop has just left me in the dust. It seems as if he does not care about me anymore. He has not called me into his office and he has not called me on my phone in a long time. I feel like I have been beaten up by getting my hopes up and left in the ditch to die. It is not really fun.
What also contributed to these feelings was that my EQ President did not call me all last week. He finally called me on Saturday, but I was really angry at him so I did not answer the phone. He left a message that I listened to and it was as if he felt like he had been there the whole time. I texted him and told him that I was busy and could not talk or do anything with him tonight (I was not lying). He then wanted to talk to me yesterday. I was not going to be at church so he set up an appointment with me to talk. My home teachers also scheduled to come over. The home teachers were supposed to be there thirty minutes before my EQ President arrived. They did not show up until after my EQ President, so we did not get to talk. He told me to come to Ward Prayer and then we could talk afterwards. This, however, did not happen. I texted him again letting him know that I was free to talk and that I would be waiting for him. He did not text me back until midnight. He perpetuated the feelings that I have been feeling because of the lack of support from my bishop.
In short, I am extremely lonely. I have great friends, but for some reason I continue to feel lonely. I do not know why. I have tried to get rid of this loneliness, but it comes and goes with the situations I am in. I also feel like I have been forgotten by a lot of my friends. I guess this is the update of the experiment and my life.
An Experiment: Update #3
11 July 2007
Last night was a pretty good night for me. My EQ President gave me a call to see how I was doing. I then had him come over to give a me blessing. It was something that I really needed. When I asked him, I was scared and kind of embarrassed to ask him. I, however, asked him. He said that he would be over in a few minutes and he came over with one of my new home teachers. They were both really nice and they stayed to talk to me for awhile. I think that it would have been better for me to be alone with the EQ President so I did not really have to lie about how I was feeling. Oh well, I guess that is the way it goes. Before he left, I wanted to give him a big hug, but then I thought it would be weird with the other guy there, so I settled for a handshake. They left and as I was going to bed, the EQ President texted me and we chatted for awhile. Then I went to bed. It was nothing spectacular, but it was a very kind of him and his willingness to support me. He is great!
Today as I have been sitting in the Cougareat eating lunch, doing homework, and watching people (this is one of my favorite past times), I saw this one guy from my ward. Lately I have been seeing him all the time. I do not know his name, but I recognize him. As I was looking at hi today, I was overcome by the spirit. I felt that God had an immense love for me and that he wanted me to succeed in life. I stopped looking at this guy and the feeling went away. I looked over at him periodically and I kept feeling the spirit very strongly. Is he the one who is supposed to be my friend? It boggles my mind if he is because I have been looking and watching his movements while I have been eating lunch this whole semester. It will be interesting to see who gets chosen.
PS I realized that this sounds really creepy that I like to watch people and that I have been watching this guy for this whole semester. I promise that I am not a stalker. I just like to watch people that intrigue me and he intrigues me.
Today as I have been sitting in the Cougareat eating lunch, doing homework, and watching people (this is one of my favorite past times), I saw this one guy from my ward. Lately I have been seeing him all the time. I do not know his name, but I recognize him. As I was looking at hi today, I was overcome by the spirit. I felt that God had an immense love for me and that he wanted me to succeed in life. I stopped looking at this guy and the feeling went away. I looked over at him periodically and I kept feeling the spirit very strongly. Is he the one who is supposed to be my friend? It boggles my mind if he is because I have been looking and watching his movements while I have been eating lunch this whole semester. It will be interesting to see who gets chosen.
PS I realized that this sounds really creepy that I like to watch people and that I have been watching this guy for this whole semester. I promise that I am not a stalker. I just like to watch people that intrigue me and he intrigues me.
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