Stubbornness pt. 1

16 June 2010
I am one of the most stubborn people you will meet. I am the most stubborn person in my family. I want to hear your thoughts on stubbornness. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it both? When is it good? When is it bad? Can stubbornness be changed?

I'd appreciate any thoughts you all have. After I read through yours, I'll post mine.

Thanks,
Sean

2 comments:

AKLDS said...

I feel all of us have some stubbornness in us at some point in our life. It can be both a productive and destructive quality in life. It can cause us to keep on track toward a goal we have given ourselves that seems unobtainable which helps us progress in life. But it can also be a very destructive behavior in relationships if we let it cause hatred towards, hostility to, or being in a state of continual opposition towards others in our lives.
We can see examples all around us of stubborn destructive behavior. Just turn on the news.
Some examples include refusing to see that there are multiple ways to view something, dragging your feet as to be “careful and methodical”, refusing to admit that perhaps you are wrong about something even when you are wrong about something.
How many times have you seen a child exhibit stubborn behavior to get what their way? Stubbornness is generally very childish unhealthy un-evolved behavior.
Stubbornness often also leads to pride. The central feature of pride is enmity. Enmity of course means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” Another face of pride is contention. I have seen this in my life as arguments have erupted and hurtful words said over pure stubbornness. Defensiveness is used by the stubborn to justify and rationalize their frailties and failures at the cost of others.
When we get so stubborn or proud that we can never admit that we are wrong about a disagreement we sell ourselves short and exhibit destructive behavior.
I feel that as long as we are tenacious but open to compromise in life and we don’t let pride get in the way then it can be a good. Agreeing to disagree isn’t backing down from your viewpoint. It’s compromising. It really depends on how you use it as a tool in your life I guess.



“Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.” -Anthony J. D'Angelo

“Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you're going to be thinking tomorrow." -Glen Beaman

Kiley said...

Depends what your stubbornness is based on and what your motivation for being stubborn is. I have a friend who wants to be right all the time. Sometimes when she defends and debates her stance she just looks silly clinging so hard to something that is wrong... She is this way with every issue and topic big or small.

Related to my friend's stubborn need to defend her position at all time, stubbornness is about "self" rather than about compromise and communication and solutions. Stubbornness subordinates relationships and prioritizes "me".