27 January 2009
Life has been interesting as of late. I have been thrown into a lot of social situations with old high school friends due to homecomings, farewells, and running into them on campus. There have been a lot of people who do not recognize me anymore. An example comes from last Sunday. One of my closer girl friends from high school had her missionary farewell. One best friend from high school came back from his mission that week and I hadn't had the chance to see him yet. He was there are the farewell and I went up to him, told him hello, and gave him a big hug. He looked at me quizzically and said, "Sean, is that you?" I was surprised that my old best friend didn't even recognize me anymore. I also had a couple of others who did not recognize me. I am happy that I have changed and not the same as in high school (I think I am a better person), yet at the same time, I can't help to wonder if coming out has actually changed the person that I once was.

When I first came out to my parents and some friends, I told them that I was the same old Sean that they knew and loved. Is this still true? Am I that same old person? If so, why do my old friends not recognize me anymore? If not, how am I different? What has changed about me? Why has this changed occurred? I think that my changes could also be attributed to me just living life and living in different, most likely, harder situations than all of my old high school friends. It still makes me wonder though.

PS One of my blog stalkers from high school has put a link on her page to my blog and I am getting a lot of hits from her blog. Some many, in fact, that her blog is one of the number three from where people come. That makes me happy and I wonder if my old high school friends are finding this blog.


Kengo Biddles said...

FWIW, I think you're a better person -- you've definitely grown and matured. And I don't think you're the same person as when you came out. You've lived years of life, you've grown, you've matured.

I think you're in a much healthier place now than then.

And I'm glad I know you.

Ezra said...

It could be easily argued that you are the same, but that the person they knew back then was false--a facade generated by the evil entity known as the closet....